Dancing Not Optional

I am not a dancer. Well, not in public anyway. The most dancing that happens in my life is maybe a quick turn or wiggle while cleaning the house listening to James Bay on Spotify. And in the car. I am a well practiced car seat dancer when I remember to turn on the radio. 

In high school I never enjoyed the dancing portion of the dances. I did like dressing up and hanging out with friends and crowd watching. I'd join in on the Electric Slide or Macarena, but that's about all that you were getting out of me. 

This weekend was my best friends wedding, and well I danced. I danced completely sober, I danced after a couple drinks. I danced with my daughter, who surprisingly has such confidence and joy on the dance floor. I have never witnessed someone dance so energetically with no notion to stop. Well, until some other super fun thing caught her eye. The night was filled with super fun things that meant many trips to and from the dance floor for her. 

I am not sure what this move is called, but she 100% meant every thing about it.

I danced with my husband. I should note that we aren't dancers to the point where we did not do a first dance at our wedding. I am not sure anything we've ever attempted could honestly be considered "dancing." Maybe one day we'll take a lesson or two, or just copy after our dear dancing daughter. 

At least we can take a photo together. ;)

I danced with strangers, in front of strangers, with friends old and new, with the bride and groom. The bride may have informed me that one of my Matron of Honor duties was to dance, but it would have happened anyways. 

I was so happy during this entire festivities it was extremely therapeutic to dance it out. To move in the light fall air, in a beautiful flowing dress, under the lights of a romantic and fun evening and dance. Just dance. I was not concerned with what moves looked good, it just felt good. The energy of such love and happiness for the newly married couple, for my best friend in particular who has found and claimed love and family, to just flow out. My heart and soul were overflowing with love and happiness for her, and I simply could not contain it. I needed to dance. 

Despite knowing there is video evidence of said dancing, I am happy it happened. I feel somewhat less self conscious and more confident that dancing does not have to be a mental choice for me anymore, but a physical reaction to the environment. Dancing can be a reaction to the love and connectedness of myself with others, the evening, the universe, the joy deep within me for others and maybe even myself. 

Plus, I checked off a bucket list item I didn't even know I had. I danced with a hedgehog. 10/10 would recommend. 

Meters

There was a period of time where my cousin Amber and I spent hours playing The Sims. We used the early 2000's internet to find cheat codes unlocking unlimited cash and all the accessories. We'd design and build house so grand and elaborate MTV's Cribs episodes hardly compared. I mean, we had unlimited money, and in early adolescence, unlimited time.

We learned the characters language, ran their lives, and soon lead them to having children, earning promotions and gaining new and rather useless talents. We coordinated their sleep, their food intake and their time spent socializing, building self esteem, and even the potty breaks. (I have an almost four year old, and I use the word potty. Deal.)  What we needed to do next for these characters depended on the status of their meters. The graphics showed us exactly how much we could accomplish in these characters lives before initiating their next sleep cycle or hosting the next big shindig.

I find myself often considering where my meters are. It is not uncommon for me to say to my husband "my (insert meter of topic) is low." Thankfully, while I refer to my needs in meters, I have stopped using the Sims language. I am certain some of my family members recall some of the phrases, but most others would have no clue what I was referring to, so life just works out better not to do this.

I feel as if at least one of my many meters are continuously low. It's hard for them not to be. Life responsibilities, and adjust to an essentially new world here in Lubbock, it not unreasonable that this is just the case.

As we move into a new holiday season, and Pinterest becomes overwhelmed with the cutest of crafts, the social offering around us increasing exponentially, and the longing in my heart to create magic for my daughter rages, I am going to be very aware of all my meters.  The alone time meter, the family fun meter, the crafting meter, the sleep meter, the school meter.

We have so much to celebrate, so many people to celebrate with, and joys to recognize. While I am tempted to start scouring the internet looking for the next fun event, the next craft or recipe, I am going to choose to look at balance. A choice to look at the trends of these lower meters and make sure they too get their fill.  I hope to find and develop a new meter of balance within myself, and make sure that is the one in the green. And a cheat code for unlimited money. I definitely hope to find an unlimited money cheat code.

Tick Tock

The house is cleaned, the child is sleeping, it is quiet.

I can hear the clock on my mantle between clicks of the keyboard and calculator buttons being pushed from the husband working on his math homework at the dining room table. I sometimes forget that clocks make sounds during the hustle and bustle of the day. Normally I am looking at the clock on the computer screen at work, waiting until I can go home. Often its on my phone attempting to gauge how late we are getting out the door in rushed mornings, or how deciding how tired we are all going to be tomorrow because the planned bedtimes did not happen as, well planned.

This weekend was filled with scheduled activities, debating on when we would hit the streets to gather candy, crazy late bedtimes, and trying to calculate how long the sugar high would take to wear off from the timed, and spaced out Halloween candy bag raids. The answer, 2 hours.

For the past year life it has seemed like life has been a movement on a timeline with so many important dates and moments to hit. It's been just over a year that it was decided we would be moving to Lubbock. The clock started ticking, and necessary milestones were planned.

The first for me was my graduation. I knew I needed to finally obtain my bachelor's degree in order to help provide income for us. I always knew one day I would get there, and have been working on it. Finally by plugging into the right school, a strong support system backing me up, it happened. I made it happen. Check one. Ok, BIG check on this one.

The next big step was to get all the documents and papers in place for the husband's transition from his associates at a community college to a state school. Paperwork. And phone calls. Plenty of phone calls.  Dates for every little form, orientation, scheduling classes, and finally the beginning of the school year. The schedule came out, and his name was on the roster. Check!

The packing proceeded, the new house was found, the moving truck rented, and utilities connected. This probably isn't the order, but in that whirlwind, I am just happy it all happened. Unless I missed something I have not discovered I need to be taking care of, check.

Next the goodbye parties were scheduled. I am so happy we took a moment to stop and reflect on that time we had shared in Austin, and those we have shared it with. It will always be one of my favorite chapters of our lives. To spend time hugging our friends, reminiscing on simpler times, and lingering in the goodbyes, drawing them longer than the road between here and there (its really not that far, come visit!) was much needed. No check for this one. We will be visiting. We mostly determined there will not be an easy goodbye, we will back and look forward to the intersections of our paths. Our time in Austin may have ran out for now, but our future will hold time together.

At 11pm on Daylight Savings Time, were society tells me I have gained an hour, I am thankful. An hour to reflect on the past year was exactly what I needed. Knowing tomorrow holds 24 hours of time to make progress in school for us both, clock in and out of work, to laugh and be silly with our daughter, to sing one (or two) extra bedtime songs, and maybe even squeeze in an episode of Star Trek, is okay in my book. We aren't guaranteed this time, but we are going to take it.