Discipline: Found Where the Motivation Ends

In case you haven't kept up in the other elements of my social media presence, I have been working on many major life changes lately. 

Getting fit.

My MBA.

Happiness. 

Positive Parenting. 

All of these changes come with what is included in the major life change inclusive offer package. Successes, absolute failure, roadblocks, support materials, cheerleaders, and excitement. Excitement soon turns to motivation. I dive deep into the materials, a new Beach Body supplement, a Happiness Planner, or a new ink cartridge for my favorite pen, and get to work. I am motivated. I am unstoppable. Soon excuses are knocked out of the way, blogs are read, classes passed, support circles share and offer encouragement and advice. Everything a gal could need to keep going. Then she doesn't. 

Motivation dies off. Things may slow down or just flat out stop. I find myself skipping a workout, playing Netflix instead of reading that next chapter, or getting way over frustrated over a simple eye roll or back talk from the kid. 

I am so tired of going back to day 1. So tired of not getting the results I want. So tired of the life I created getting in the way of me living the life I want. Tired of being tired.

This is where the real keys to result come into play. Dedication. Determination. Discipline. I am not a fan of hitting my head on the wall over and over again when things aren't changing. I try to change it up and find a way around the obstacle. I have always over credited my resourcefulness. Lately the discipline factor has been becoming more relevant and apparent to me than ever. I am in no way advocating doing things that don't work, but instead doing that that will work, even if hard and you are unmotivated and unexcited, because that is where the long term results are realized. It may take a couple smacks against the wall, being okay with a plateau, reviewing a chapter or two of that parenting book, or having a string of bad days. I have found that if I am disciplined, and continue to work towards the things I have decided to change, change will come. Then that change starts the motivation, determination, discipline cycle all over again. And I love it. 

I have fallen in love with this journey, the hard parts, the stagnation, the plain crummy moments. Nothing in my life has came easy up to this point. Nothing should have. This is not a story of ease and remembering that has made me love it. So, I continue to write it. I continue to move forward. I celebrate and relish in my struggle as I know it adds the layer of truth that makes it unique. My truth. 

Vision Correction

E came home from school recently saying she needed glasses as she was having a hard time seeing. I set up her first optometrist appointment and it was confirmed, she does need glasses, and will need some corrective lenses for life. Sorry about those genetics kiddo, it was bound to happen.

She was so excited to go pick out glasses! We discussed how to care for them, how to store them during nap and sleep, how to be careful with them on leading up to the big day. E excitingly shared her big news with her teachers, the carhop at sonic, and anyone she came across. She was getting glasses! 

I knew this would be a super exciting appointment for her, a little chaotic for me, and a lot of tidying and cleaning for the customer service agent helping us find the perfect pair. We only had to try on ALL of them. 

What I didn't expect, how this would be a lesson for me.  

Once the pair was picked out, we grabbed a quick dinner while the super awesome vision center matched those perfect frames with her prescription in record breaking time. I received a text before we had our drinks served, the glasses were ready! 

We returned to the vision center, I plopped her on the counter and she places the glasses on. Adorable! She looks into the mirror and smiles with the biggest smile. She was so proud and excited to wear glasses.

To see her view herself and have no doubts or concerns about her reflection was awesome!  

I can't remember the last time I had looked into the mirror and my eyes didn't immediately shift to my "problem" areas. Ugh, the scar from the mole I had removed, the zit that left a pock mark, the freckle on my bottom lip, all of this immediately captures my attention when I see my reflection. Passing by any mirror I am glancing to find out what I need to fix. A little water to my frizzy hair, readjust my clothes, add a little powder on my nose, take care of that stray eyebrow hair that needs tweezed, whatever I could find to make me look better.

Seeing E smile so purely looking at herself made me realize what the vast difference on how I view myself.  My vision needs more correcting than hers! I can't imagine the hurt I would feel if E thought some of the things about herself as I do about myself.

I am her first example. I have got to quit overly scrutinizing every little imperfection. I am not sure how to accomplish this, and if I can ever unlearn this behavior, but I am going to try. 

So this is where I start. I am going to hush my inner critic, work on replacing my negative thoughts with positive, and actively combat my perfectionist tendencies. By focusing on my strengths and emphasizing those I can hopefully be the example of the woman I hope E becomes, a confident, self loving woman who is capable of seeing her worth before her flaws. 

10 Tips for Parents Considering Earning a Degree

My husband and I have both been in school for the past couple of years. During this time we have been raising our daughter, working, and trying to keep it all together. When talking to other parents who are considering continuing their education, they often ask how we do it. Mostly we do it as a team, with a lot of forgiveness, and plenty of caffeine.

Here's 10 of our best tips for making it through this chapter of life:

1. You need a system. For everything. Morning routines, laundry, bills. Everything. This allows me to spend time on more important things.

2. Change the way you eat. Break out the slow cooker and Instant Pot and start pinning recipes for hassle free, healthy meals. It's potentially "okay" to eat pizza every night as an 18 year old freshman, but the local delivery guys does not have to be visiting often enough to be comfortable asking to use your restroom. Having a quick, "it's finals week!" meal in the freezer doesn't hurt either.

3. Use a connected calendar. Google calendar works well for our family. I can see what classes and exams are coming up for my spouse and plan schedule my tests around them. This also helps when coordinating the medical appointments, vacations, and work schedules.

4. Take short vacations. We often road trip and enjoy spending quality time together in the car. With jobs, assignments and exams, date nights simply do not happen as often as we'd like, so we play make-up on these trips. A few days on the beach, visiting family, or just seeing a new place helps break up the cycle of work, school, sleep, repeat.

5.  Take advantage of student discount offers. From free software products, the coupon book basically forced into your hand your first week on campus, to discounted Spotify premiums, there are so many options for you to save money. We highly recommend Amazon student, for when you are too busy to stop at the store for more floss or other necessities. Be sure to ask for any student discounts on insurance policies and cell phone bills.

6. Prioritize your friendships. You will become disconnected from some, if not many of your friends. You may go years without speaking to some, so put time and effort into those who understand how much work you have, forgives you when it takes days to return a text, and are a stress relief, not a stress out.

7. Pick your sacrifices early. Sleep, clean house, unwrinkled clothes, AND two sets of good grades? You can't have it all. Together pick what is important, and who is responsible for taking care which of tasks.  (This is where the forgiveness part comes in.)

8. Develop a support network. If you have family or friends who can help with childcare, meals, or any other ways, let them. If you are unable to rely on close personal relationships find resources in your area. Use the local recreation center for childcare to write that paper, share babysitting with another parent, swap services for help with house cleaning. I recommend a mix of both personal and more business transactions if you can.

9. Walk. Go to graduation. Share this success with your family. They earned this too. Hearing your daughter say "Congratulations Momma! I am so proud of your for graduating!" as she throws her arms around your neck is the BEST thing in the world. I hope her seeing the reward for all the sacrfices we both have made, is a lifelong memory for her and helps teach her the value of education.

10. Remember your why. Whether you hope to earn more money, venture down a new career path, or finally accomplish your dream of earning a degree, you are doing this to better your family's lives. If it gets too hard, too exhausting, too long, remember why you are doing this, and focus on the long term payout. It is worth it, you are worth it, your family is worth it. You can do this!

My WGU Chancellor's Club Bio

I was recently accepted into the WGU Texas Chancellor's Club! I am super excited to represent WGU around the state, and specifically in my community. What I was not excited about, having to write a WGU focused bio. I didn't like the idea of writing about myself or sharing my story. It was mine after all, and I felt as if words could never put it all together. Well, today's deadline approached and I HAD to write it.

I did not expect it to be so self motivating! Thinking about the completion of my degree, yet more importantly the journey I took to get there, has made me want to go that much further and complete this MBA. Should you possibly need a study break, or some motivation, write your story, list your "why," look down deep behind the tiredness and remind yourself why you are making those daily sacrifices and renew your commitment to whatever you are reaching for in life. Whether it be your education, dreams, goals, don't forget most importantly to do it for yourself.

Currently a Lubbock, Texas resident and current employee of medical practice specializing in pain management and regenerative medicine, I provide administrative and operational support to the clinic as well as marketing, strategic planning and project management.  Working with a small business has provided me with opportunity to hone and develop the skills I learned while completing my BS in Business Management with Western Governors University Texas. With these skills in addition to those previously acquired in the legal, financial, and nonprofit sectors, I strive for excellence in information as well as customer service.

Currently pursuing the MBA with WGU I am also passionate about serving the community. As a previous receipt of the American Red Cross Hero’s award, multiple awards for service during employment, a WGU Continuing Graduates Scholarship, I have been proud to represent the organizations that I am connected with in the community.

As a child who grew up with the commons plights of poverty and family instability, there was always one thing that provided sanctuary, school. I enjoyed learning independently at a young age and thrived academically when my environment established opportunity for self paced learning. I was fortunate to be instructed and nurtured by exceptional educators and my successes during early schooling cultivated a sense of fulfilling achievement.

Graduating in the top of my class from high school, I attempted to complete a degree at a variety of different academic institutions.  Unfortunately personal socio-economic barriers combined with a lack of programs that were flexible for me as an untraditional college student hindered my progress. I had not yet given up on my dream to become the first college graduate in my family when as an enrolled community college student I stumbled across a WGU advertisement online. After a little research it was obvious I had found the way that I would finally obtain the bachelor’s degree I needed to elevate my career and create opportunities for myself.

After diving deep into the WGU program, many conversations with the support staff at WGU, and building a close relationship with my student mentor, I did it.  Every sacrifice, every moment spent dreaming, preparing, and executing the attempts for my goal had paid off. I am a WGU graduate. I am incredibly grateful for the entire organization WGU has built, as well as the community I have found with other students at WGU. This will be my inaugural year as a member of the Chancellor’s Club and I am excited to share my life changing experience with WGU Texas in Lubbock and across the state.

Stay tuned for the adventures this new opportunity will create! And if you are interested in any of the details of WGU learn all about them by visiting their website at wgu.edu. 

Middle of the Night Conversation

I put middle of the night in the title, because that's what 2:00am to 3:30am is considered for most people, although I was just ending a work project and thinking about heading to bed before work tomorrow morning. But then I hear the squeak of the hinge from the door down the hall and a whimper. Please don't be illness (which my daughter proudly informed me was another word for sick tonight). It was thankfully just a super soaked pull up. Those are rare these days, thankfully.

I start in on the cleaning, and comforting. It is safe to say those grumpy, half awake when you really want to be sleeping genes are mine. I totally get it, so I make it the best I can avoiding larger fusses by finding the Elsa jammies, without the buttons because who wants to fuss with buttons anytime after 10pm? Little turtle and monster feet slippers also a help. The true savior here is the coveted Hearts Blanky still being dry. Now for some snuggles.

I unwrap the layers of blankets from the messy headed pile of sleepy in the recliner and we snuggle in. Usually at these hours we'd go straight for The Thomas Song, which recaps all the highlights of her day including Thomas the Train along for the adventures, but during the pajama change I had noticed a large and rather fresh looking bruise on the back of her leg and asked her what happened.

No memories of anything particular, but there was reports of wiggly legs at school during the end of the day educational TV time, as well as when a friend had pushed her down. We discuss what we can do in that situation, how we should treat our friends, and apologizing when things don't go as intended as well as offering forgiveness to others. She gets it, and she knows what's expected of her. She knows what being nice means, how emotions can sometimes control situations, how no matter if you are always nice some people won't be, and how all kids are learning just like her.

She confessed sometimes it is hard to apologize when she is on her own and there isn't a stuffed lovey or a grown up to help. I suggested that the fairies could help make her brave, as it is always kind and responsible to apologize for the things we don't make good choices about. Silly Mom. Fairies are too small, how could they even help?!

 Magic. Fairies have magic and that can help make you brave. She didn't know that, and considers the impact these magical fairies may have on her life. From being brave, to leaving coins when you stay in bed all night, these fairies are good friends to have. Thankfully her aunt, uncle, and cousin had sent her very own fairy door for her birthday that keeps the coins a comin'. I'm not entirely sure how the coins end up in my floor boards, but I have a pretty short list of suspects.

One more, well thought out, extensively set up question about fairy magic before The Thomas Song to which I reply, making sure to repeat back all her set up conditions:

"Yes, love, maybe the fairies will leave you a package of smarties in your lunch box for you to have as an after school snack if you are a good girl all day and do all your work and mind your teachers, always asking to use the potty and not playing in the soap and water when do, and doing a good job getting ready for school on school days."

For Brenda

When I was lost and confused,

tossed aside and thrown away,

you blanketed me with kindness,

for as long as I needed to stay.

You gave me a safe haven from the cold,

just a child on my own.

Standing by my side,

you opened up your home.

Through tough lessons and trials,

and all the moments in between,

you were there with encouragement,

shaping the future me.

You cheered for my potential,

and believed I’d find my way,

and now that I am here,

I cherish all those days.

You strong convictions helped guide me,

and love gave me worth,

helping to make me the woman I am,

by being family I didn’t deserve. 

Rest in peace sweet Brenda. Your memory will be celebrated forever in my life. You changed my world and will always be one of my heroes. 

With love always. 

Dancing Not Optional

I am not a dancer. Well, not in public anyway. The most dancing that happens in my life is maybe a quick turn or wiggle while cleaning the house listening to James Bay on Spotify. And in the car. I am a well practiced car seat dancer when I remember to turn on the radio. 

In high school I never enjoyed the dancing portion of the dances. I did like dressing up and hanging out with friends and crowd watching. I'd join in on the Electric Slide or Macarena, but that's about all that you were getting out of me. 

This weekend was my best friends wedding, and well I danced. I danced completely sober, I danced after a couple drinks. I danced with my daughter, who surprisingly has such confidence and joy on the dance floor. I have never witnessed someone dance so energetically with no notion to stop. Well, until some other super fun thing caught her eye. The night was filled with super fun things that meant many trips to and from the dance floor for her. 

I am not sure what this move is called, but she 100% meant every thing about it.

I danced with my husband. I should note that we aren't dancers to the point where we did not do a first dance at our wedding. I am not sure anything we've ever attempted could honestly be considered "dancing." Maybe one day we'll take a lesson or two, or just copy after our dear dancing daughter. 

At least we can take a photo together. ;)

I danced with strangers, in front of strangers, with friends old and new, with the bride and groom. The bride may have informed me that one of my Matron of Honor duties was to dance, but it would have happened anyways. 

I was so happy during this entire festivities it was extremely therapeutic to dance it out. To move in the light fall air, in a beautiful flowing dress, under the lights of a romantic and fun evening and dance. Just dance. I was not concerned with what moves looked good, it just felt good. The energy of such love and happiness for the newly married couple, for my best friend in particular who has found and claimed love and family, to just flow out. My heart and soul were overflowing with love and happiness for her, and I simply could not contain it. I needed to dance. 

Despite knowing there is video evidence of said dancing, I am happy it happened. I feel somewhat less self conscious and more confident that dancing does not have to be a mental choice for me anymore, but a physical reaction to the environment. Dancing can be a reaction to the love and connectedness of myself with others, the evening, the universe, the joy deep within me for others and maybe even myself. 

Plus, I checked off a bucket list item I didn't even know I had. I danced with a hedgehog. 10/10 would recommend.